Being a Leader

So just recently i became a leader in my church's youth group. Its very different. I grew up most of my life in that church and now i graduated and became a Jr. High leader. At first i didn't think it was going to be much different but it is. I can tell that the services are targeted towards the young age group that is present. I soon realized that i no longer fitted into the student category and now had to step out of my box of good friends and meet new, younger kids. It was scary at first. I love my friends and i like spending time with them but it was time for change. It was interesting seeing how different the Jr. High students and Sr. High student acted. Its kind of hard adjusting myself to handle the younger kids. To tell you the truth......I didn't want to be a leader for the Jr. High because i was scared of them. I thought they would tear me apart, but after being a leader at MYC, God showed me that this is a passion of mine and i shouldn't be scared of anything. With God in my life anything is possible. So now I'm an official leader. There are a few things i have to give up for the time being but this is what i want and what God wants. I'm excited for this very adventurous next year!

UpDateOnLife

So I'm having a writers block. I'm not sure what to write/type about. So i guess i will tell you what i have learned at college so far this year:

1.) Don't wait until 11p.m. to start a 4-5 page essay that's due the next day.
2.) You cant tell a person's hair color by their leg hair.
3.) Don't be late to class or your teacher will make you pray. :-)
4.) NEVER carry soup/ramen while walking by a door. It just might swing open. (ouch)
5.) NEVER EVER go on the roof of Miller Hall (its a secret)
6.) You're not allowed to date your brother. (uh-oh!)
7.) Apples bounce like bouncy balls
8.) Lock your dorm rooms when you go to bed, your RA & DL's might make a late night visit (don't ask)
9.) Never use tape on the walls
10.) NEVER become a cheerleader
11.) Open your eyes when nailing a nail in the wall
12.) Listen and trust God with all your heart
13.) Lock up your food (it will start disappearing)
14.) Always have your window shut. (its hard to shut it when its pouring)
15.) You should always have your bible with you at all times. (or Dr. Anderson with get you)
16.) Look both ways before crossing a road.
17.) (for females) Don't start looking for a guy the first 2 months of college, most of them are fake. (some girls are also fake)
18.) Not everyone is a Christian
19.) Sleeping naked in bed is illegal in Minnesota.
20.) Never try to pet the squirrels, they bite.
21.) Accepting a dare is a bad thing.
22.) Watch out for flying teachers.
23.) God is good all the time.
24.) Always bring your syllabus to class, if you forget......good luck.
25.) Females should NEVER walk alone in the city. (this is very important)
26.) Never pass by anything that is free
27.) Make sure you know how your printer works before you go to college
28.) Foundations of Leadership class is the perfect class to skip!(but you shouldn't skip)
29.) Always carry your student ID card with you
30.) SAC!
31.) Powder Puff Football is NOOO joke!
32.) Hiding under your roommate's bed and scaring her to death is the most fun thing ever!
33.) Go to LifeCore
34.) Slip&Slides are not aloud in the dorm area's
35.) If you get mail, you're cool!
36.) Lydia is not a White Rapper
37.) Solitaire is your best friend
38.) Never curl your hair the night before, you WILL wake up with a fro
39.) 1+1=2
40.) Bus Drivers don't care if you're there, they will keep driving.
41.) Free parking is rare.
42.) 22 girls sharing 3 showers = cat claws come out!
43.) without facebook, college students would be so bored.
44.) Always check your school e-mail
45.) Always go in the "Pooh" bathroom stall if you are going number 2
46.) Stay in contact with your Life Long Friends
47.) Don't be scared of fall in love
48.) People are more important then systems
49.) Carrying a dresser is heavy
50.) Who your really friends are
51.) Christ is always there to meet you, even if you aren't there
52.) People will let you down, but God will never forsake you
53.) I'm not a perfect person and i love that
54.) Jesus is my night in shinning armor
55.) Oct. 11 is taking forever to arrive!
56.) UMMMMM I'm running out of things to write, but will update with more.....

Before I Find A Boy I Love

So i'd just gotten back from the NCU fall retreat with my brother floor, and i was just relaxing in my dorm room when i came a cross this poem Lydia's Grandmother had written her. The title was "Before I Find A Boy I Love" and this is how it went:

Before I Find A Boy I Love

Oh Lord, I have a Big request
Which I must ask you now
Before I found a boy I love
I pray you show how.

I know your Word is very clear
On what a boy should be
Don't let my feelings mix me up
But give me eyes to see

Keep me from boys who turn my heart
From you with looks or charm
Protect me from temptations and
Those things which bring me harm
Help discern all those sweet words
And actions which are fake
Guide me to see what's right
What's wrong
My love for you is at stake

Help me consider only boys
with lives that would please you
Whose focus is to serve you well
And do what you would do

Lord help me find a boy that's wise
That seeks and does what's right
So if I choose to follow him
We'll both walk in your light

Show me a boy that knows you well
That spends much time with you
So he can know and do your will
And love just like you do

I know that if I follow you
And puts you first in all
The boy I find will be your choice
Our purity wont fall

Prepare me Lord to be a girl
That such a boy will choose
To grow with him close to your heart
With you we cannot lose

Beauty

This past couple weeks God has unveiled so much to me, i wish i could explain it all but my thoughts are all over the place. I guess I should start at the beginning. (this isn't an easy subject for me to talk about) My whole life I've never been happy with how i look. WOW what a surprise, a girl who doesn't like how she looks! nothing new. Now this problem never got to the point where i would hurt myself to make myself look better, but it was where Satan used verbal abuse to hit me hard, from other people and from myself. I would look in the mirror and pick out the little things that i didn't like and wished to change. Even thou i didn't think it did, but by doing that to myself it tore me apart from the inside out. I HATE how females do that to themselves. We are God's beauty. But anyway in my Christian life i have only heard God's voice speaking to me 3 times in my life. the first was "I LOVE YOU" the second was "YOU BELONG HERE" and the third one happened this past week. I was dealing with my self image (Satan was hitting hard) and it hurt so bad. We (friends from my floor) went to praise gathering on Wednesday and the topic was the pain in our lives and the moment i got in the sanctuary i knew God had something planned for me that night. I remember praying my heart out, my pain, my torment and my suffering. I gave it all to God, trusting him and than i heard him say "YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL" and i broke out in tears.........I don't know how to explain what i felt like that night but I've been changed by those 4 words and i wont go back to how it was.

P.S. This is for You.

This past summer I've grown so much in my relationship with God, its amazing to me. But there's an area in my life to which i haven't given fully to God yet, and that would be my relationships (haha this is a funny picture, it makes me laugh :-D) with people, particularly with guys. I feel like if i don't have control over my relationships that it wont work out how i want it to. This past weekend i went home to see some of my friends and chat with my pastor to see how i can be a leader in the youth group. It was nice to see my friend's faces, i love them so much and miss them everyday. But Sunday morning at church God challenged me to trust him with a very close relationship involving a guy. God asked me to show my faith by letting go (not speaking to him) this relationship for a month. At first i said to myself that "that would be the last thing i would do to myself and this guy" but as the day continued the thought wouldn't go away. I was fighting with God and if you're a Christian you know that God ALWAYS wins in

the end. A group of friends and i went to one of our houses to watch the first batman movie and the whole time i was being tormented with what God wanted me to do (aka the reason why i was so out of it that Sunday). When it was time to say goodbye i didn't want to. specially to him but when my mom pulled up to drive me back to NCU i felt sick and just wanted to get away from everyone so i said a general goodbye to everyone. (this i regret, i wish i would've said more personal goodbyes to everyone) When i arrived back to my dorm room, God pressured me even more to the point where i finally decided i would obey. Later that night i had talked to him about everything God is doing in me and about our separation. I was impressed with him. He was very understanding. So this next part is for him



P.S. this is for you

Thanks for being understanding, I haven't told you this yet but I've been watching you grow in your relationship with God and you've always inspired me to keep growing even more in mine. I hope this situation hasn't made you sad or depressed because i know this is what God wants me to do and there will be good coming out of this, so don't be sad. don't look at the problems happening now, open your eyes to the bigger picture of what God is doing and be excited! I will miss talking to you. See ya in 26 days ;-)

The Undo Button in our Lives

Picture yourself in this situation. Its 1am and you hope to go to bed by 2am. You're typing a 5 page paper about what Hotdogs are made out of and you're about to finish. But when you try to change the font size/spell check and you accidentally push the wrong button, all your work is gone within seconds.......!

Two days ago i was in this situation. It was 2am and i had a paper due that same day at 8. I was about finished when i accidentally pushed the wrong button and all my work was gone. I thought i was going to freak out but than i remembered the Undo Button! Once i undid my mistake i yelled (waking my roommate in the process) "THANK GOD FOR THE UNDO BUTTON!" Than it hit me, what if we had a undo button in our lives. Whenever we made a mistake or been hurt by someone we could just push the undo button and the pain/disappointment would just disappear, never to had happen. Life would be so much easier. But when you think about it, we sort of have an undo button already. That undo button is God. Notice how i said God is "sort of" like an undo button. The reason why is when something happens that we would like to undo we cant just call upon the Lord and ask him to rewind what just happened and everything goes back to being perfect, it doesn't work that way. God is a different kind of undo button. At those moments when everything is going wrong, when you feel broken and torn, God is there. All u have to do is ask him for his healing/forgiveness and He will take that pain/disappointment away and stand you up straight on the right path. That's why he died on the cross, to take away the sin in our lives. Those moments will stay with you (they aren't fully erase) but God will heal you and help u move on and grow.

Anyone out there?

So i was thinking awhile ago about this blog thing and i thought to myself "how many ppl actually read the posts that i put up?" So i have written this post to see how many ppl respond. So if u come across this post please leave a comment thanks

The Light in the Bathroom!

I HATE THE BATHROOM LIGHTS WITH A PASSION!!!!!!! i bet they conspire against me. grrrr........ i even think that they talk to each other! (light bulb on the Left telling the light bulb on the Right)"here comes jessica, lets turn off the lights and get her to slip and fall!" They do it all the time!!!!!!!!! My dad had put a motion detector light switch for the bathroom and just my luck that the shower is a little too far from the motion detector so when im in the shower the lights go off all the time!!!!!!!!! and when i try to turn them back on the shower is too far away so i have to get out of the shower just to turn on the lights. A couple of days ago the lights turned off when i was in the shower and i went to turn them on and i slipped and fell out of the shower!!!!! grrrr........! well this was random but i needed to get my anger out so thanks for listening or reading....whatever

Summer 08 ending...?

This summer has pretty much rocked the other summers off the map of my memories!!!!! So many things has happened in my walk with God and with my friends. I got to go to Lake Geneva Christan camp where God worked miracles in me and in other ppl, i went to National Fine Arts Festival in North Carolina which rocked cuz we did fabulous and we had an experience with God, I had my first guy drama, and I got more involved with my church and with friends (such as playing soccer on Sundays or at random times when Ty has an urge). Its been great. Now don't get me wrong my summer wasn't perfect. There were times of confusion, disappointment and at some point i had wished i had never met that person or gone to that place. But now that i look back on those days and i look at where i am today, and i realize that if i hadn't met that certain guy i wouldn't have met some of my good guy friends that i have now (in my past i didn't have a good view of men so i didn't have a lot of guy friends) and i even got closer so a certain Lady Friend and if i hadn't gone to that dark place (which i don't plan on going back) i wouldn't have the trust i have in God today to pull me out. So even thou not everything goes according to plan, just remember that God has his hand reached out for you to grab when your falling, so don't be afraid of whats to come next, embrace it. So to wrap the summer up i just want to say to my friends that i will be praying for u when i go to college that u will continue to grow in your relationship with God and your present/future friends. You will always be in my heart and i will be back!!!! THANKS FOR EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!! (call/text me if u ever get bored on the computer)

Camp 08

Sorry this is late!
What God did 4 me this past week at Lake Geneva Christian Camp was amazing!! I was expecting that God was going to do something great before I left, but he did so much more. So for you to get the whole picture I must start from the beginning.
As the week started my mind was very clouded, confused and distracted by some situations I was in back at home. I really didn’t want my last week at camp, as a student to be one where I came back home the same person, I wanted my life to be in some way different. So I had prayed before we left that my mind would be clear for camp but it seemed like everything I did wouldn’t work. After we had reached the camp (the bus ride was fun except for the incredible pain in my butt) we got our rooms and settled in. Later that night I went to prayer in the gym. I prayed and prayed but I couldn’t think at all, my mind was all over and consumed. After we had finish I heard my name being called out and when I looked it was Jodi. I went over to her and she wanted to pray for me because she saw that I was being torn apart. She had said that something evil was going on inside of me. So we prayed and after Jodi had told me that the devil doesn’t want me around, that he wants me dead. To tell you the truth it was a little creepy hearing that. The service that night was increditable!!!!!! In the past years at camp usually the first night service isn’t that great but this one was different. God told me what was clouding my mind, what was creating the pain in my heart and what needed to be changed in my life to help heal this pain. After that night I knew that this week was going to be different. As the week went on I got closer and closer to God. Tuesday night at service was amazing and I remember breaking down crying when Reggie asked the students who thought about ending their lives. There was so many of them and you could walk past them every day and you wouldn’t have a clue what was really going on in the inside. It scared me. That night God taught me that I can’t be alright with how my life is now. The next day I had a very special “date” with a very good friend of mine (don’t worry it wasn’t with a guy) after the “big” event (which was each team was holding on a rope and the teams had to run around the camp ground while being hit with balls and going over the opsical course, which Im proud of myself that I did it). I was a little scared to go at first because of what my friend might say, but after I was so glad I went. This friend told me a story that was in the bible and without knowing a lot about what was going on inside of me the bible story she told me was about this girl who was in the same situation I’m in at home, which was cool. From that story I learned so much about myself and how to face the challenges that will soon come my way. The rest of the week was great and God did so many other sweet stuff. THANKS FOR THE BEST CAMP EVER!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE!!!!!!! LOVE YA ALL!!!!!!!!!!

Jump right in or tip toe?

So today i was packing/moving my things into my new room (aka my brother's lizard smelling room) and it hit me hard, like being knocked off my feet by a volleyball rocket, that i was moving out in less than a month for college. It was very depressing and scary. I started to think about how i only have about 3 Wednesday left for youth group, all the events that i will be missing out on, and my very dear friends that i have known for most of my life. I'm so used to going to youth group every Wednesday, being involved with the human video group and spending the time with my friends. Its weird thinking that next year that's all gone. The youth group has been such a huge part of my life and the people in it have supported me when things got rough. I love them so much. But after thinking about it i remember Betsy telling me something at camp about going to college, which took some of the sadness away. She said that when you go to college you meet so many new people and create so many different friendships that you are consumed into the college life. The events that you will be involved in will be at your level and you will have so much fun. After i thought about it for awhile, i decided that it will be good for a change and no matter how long we are apart i know that the friendships at youth group that i have made will last a life time. So whether i should jump right in or tip toe into the life of a college student will be a question i will have figure out on my own.

First Blog!

O_O MY FIRST BLOG! Well i just wanted to welcome my readers to the thoughts and dreams that are placed into my head by my God and to warn you that I'm not the best writer out there so i hope u get something out of them.